I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Randomize
