I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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