Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Every concussion has its silver lining
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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