That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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