Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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