I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
