I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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