just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
i think i have two assholes
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Randomize
