yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
