I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
