Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
