he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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