He is such a slut. More and more my type.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
