I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
