I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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