Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
