honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
