You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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