we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
