Christians are straight up FREAKS
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
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