DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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