So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
