My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
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He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
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hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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