Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
