My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
this will be a night to untag.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
