i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
