Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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