The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize