Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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