Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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