There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
You need a sexual gate keeper
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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