Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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