I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
