is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
