There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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