You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
How naked do you want me to be?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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