they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
