So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
