And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Randomize
