Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
