awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
