He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I deserve this hangover.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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