Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
