But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
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