You're completely useless in the revolution.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
