you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
