lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
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