Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
