I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
