Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
a search helicopter?!
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
