Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
