yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
