Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one acquire holy water?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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