call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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