So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I would fuck him just for his dog
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