So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
