Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
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