In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Need sex. Gaining weight.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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