so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
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