One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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