So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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