Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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