I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Guys Hate When Girls Do These 29 Cringeworthy Things
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
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Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...