She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Dating After Heartbreak
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.